Well it has been over a week since he last spoke to me and I dont feel any better for it. I have managed to stop papping on to people about how sad I feel pretty much, but i still spend my alone time being weepy and pathetic.
My sleeping is still pretty non-existant so all the plans I make for myself for the next day are out the window because Im too tired to do any of it.
I just want to be happy now, its been months and Im fed up of being fed up.
Graduation in a few months! So that means dissertation deadline even sooner- Great timing.
I miss him so much that I feel almost as though I’m not fully there in the room, one part of me is thinking about him, about the past 4 months, what I did and everything bad that has happened.
Some days I feel like I’m making progress, that I am 1 step closer to being happy again. But the slightest thing will remind me of him, and teigger off a series of memories, most of which are bad ones, the good ones dont feel good anymore either.
Im not sure what to do to move on from this, beginning to feel pathetic for still moping about it. But I feel utterly miserable and hoping a little rant here will maybe ease my mind so I can sleep.