Being down and showing appreciation.

Over the past week or two I have felt incredibly crap. Blubbery and weepy and miserable. No real reasons for it, I guess unnecessary stress over work, over relationships. . the usual. But that isn’t what I want to concentrate on here, what I wanted to get out was how lucky I am to have such amazing friends and family.

When everything feels so dreadful the slightest kind gesture means so much. Especially when the person who is down isn’t keen on sharing how they feel with the people who matter most. I am sometimes keen to share, other times I won’t and that never helps, but I guess everyone feels silly about being down sometimes.

I have spent most of the last week at home alone, some family is away, and most friends are busy with their own work and being busy with their own lives. Also, sometimes it is just embarrassing to feel needy for your friends help.

ANYWAY, I’m babbling. If the people I am talking about are reading this, then thank you. I know that I am lucky enough to have friendships that have lasted for years, and will without a doubt keep going until we are old ladies. I can say that the small amount of real friends I have will always be my friends, even if we don’t see each other for a week, or two. .or even if its months. I think the point I was trying, and so epically failing to make, is that when I feel so crap it is easy to overlook the people I love, and in turn, how they feel.

Soooo, even if we’re not expressing the emotional stuff to each others face, I am sure you will read this and know I am talking about you, and if you are, and do. . I love you more than anyone in the world and we will be as close as peas forever. . sorry if I haven’t been there this past few weeks.



Every Cloud (:

So I haven’t written in a few days and someone actually messaged me to enquire as to my whereabouts so I feel like I should make a return =)

No major reason for not saying much, mostly just through lack of things to say/being busy. 

I had finished one assignment and done about 5,500 words of my dissertation last week so the stuff I did write on here was far from enthralling anyway, so it seemed the kindest thing to do to not bother at all!

Anyway, I went to my friend’s 21st on Saturday night, me and my friend walked in to something that resembled the Pheonix Club (You know, Brian Potter!), the drinks where incredibly overpriced and being surrounded by chavs/extremely arrogant females it was only natural we needed to get drunk if we wished to stay! . . . Two bottles of wine and a double vodka and coke later, the party wasn’t so dreadful!

During the alcohol consumption me and Andrea, my oldest and bestest friend, had a rather lengthy heart to heart about all my “woe is me” moments and we revelled in the fact that all my bad shit from the past few months has led us to being much closer. 

I guess I feel much happier now after realising that, even though I still feel sad all the time, and lonely a lot of the time. I know really that Im not, and if nothing else I shall always have her 

Anyway, enough of that. 


New leaf?

spent the best part of 40 minutes writing an in depth post before . . only to find that it didn’t upload when I was done and I lost it all, so as ironical as it was that it was about not being lazy and being more motivated in life I have decided to do a smaller blog and re-write that at a later date.

However I can say that for some reason I feel inspired tonight to make a few changes that are only small but will make me a lot happier. One of these was to get rid of some of my facebook ‘friends’. I never used to see the point in doing this but I have come to realize that I don’t speak to the majority of the people on there and I know them from years ago. It is well known knowledge that people from your history only add you to snoop. But never speak, heaven forbid! So I have done a clear out on it, and yes, I feel better!

Secondly, after reading the perks of being a wallflower I feel like I have been concentrating to hard on the stupid things that don’t matter. Yes I am aware that many people would say it is cheesy to find epiphany moments in a book but, screw it, I have. A lot of what my original post was saying is that we should just say yes to things. Don’t let petty worries and self conscious issues stop you from doing the things that will ultimately make you happy! I need to do this more, and I plan to start now.

have recently gotten back on the Slimming World diet, and whilst I am not a large person I would feel better about myself if I was a bit slimmer (who wouldn’t I know) but I plan to just say yes to the diet, rather than going strong for a couple of weeks then thinking oh sod it I have lost enough, only to put it all back on and then some!

don’t see the point in half arsing my way through everything I do, and I think I have been doing that in a lot of aspects of life. So I will say yes to new things, and I wont let myself get in the way. I am pretty sure I have had similar things go through my head in the past, but I don’t fancy wasting my life regretting my decisions, and God knows there are a lot to regret, but what is the point? It won’t help me now.

So what will you say yes too? I think every person who reads this should try saying yes to something they would usually shy away from, and see what happens. You never know, it could be something that just makes you smile, or it could be something that changes everything for the better!

So, say yes.

Checking in. . 08/07/2012

Okay okay so I haven’t even managed to do a blog every other day, but here we are so let’s crack on. So what have I been up too since last time? Well I have not done a lot of reading! Shame on me for that. . and nor have I give my looming dissertation any further thought . . so educationally wise I have not done myself justice at all this week!

Spending money? Yeah, another thing I said I wouldn’t do but have yet to stop doing. It was my friends Hen do last night which is a guaranteed money squeezer of an occasion and I threw away a good £40 on drink, taxis and much needed take away food. So well done Fiona, I am letting not just myself down, but all the blogees I keep making empty promises too. .

What have I learnt? I have learnt to make more attainable goals. So today’s is to get through another 100 pages of 50 Shades Freed as I would like to move on from this trilogy before the end of next week! I think another thing I need to start remembering is that people, will not always treat you the way you treat them, and to stop letting that kind of thing bother me so much. I guess it is always disappointing when somebody reveals themselves to be less loyal than you thought them to be, but I guess that says more about them than me so hey ho!

New goal. . . I want to save up. . . *deep breath* for a kindle!! I THINK. It is paining me to admit this now after all my arguments against them, but ever since beginning the 50 Shades trilogy I have found a great desire to be holding a kindle! That probably says a lot about my sillyness as it is only a book but I think I would have been able to read it outside of my bedroom if I could disguise it as something more innocent!, and therefore be done with it by now! Also, I am not sure if I am ready to stop buying books, but do I have the space for any more?? They currently surround my bed and I don’t want them to be damaged, so maybe a kindle is for the greater good?!

What do we think guys? Kindle? Bookshelf? Stop buying books that I can’t accommodate?